The world according to Kramer

After 38 years of teaching and coaching, Tom Kramer has seen a lot.

The history teacher taught during the fall of the Soviet Union, the rise of personal computers, cell phones and more than a few wars. He coached tennis champions, including his daughter Karyle and fellow teacher Jennifer Gochanour.

For all the things he’s seen, Kramer has never laid eyes on the anonymously created and highly unofficial Facebook page called “Mr. Kramer.”

The Facebook page, which has 198 “likes,” was created by students who really would like to remain anonymous. They posted a disclaimer on Facebook that says the page is neither edited nor overseen by Kramer.

The page is filled with Kramerisms, and the longtime teacher admitted some of them may be authentic.

“My guess is that these are a collection over the last 20 years or so. I know kids in the past would write them down here or there,” Kramer said.

“Somehow, they’ve made their way on to Facebook, which I’ve never been on, ever,” he added.

The fake profile was created in December. The real Mr. Kramer said Facebook is “a waste of time and a waste of space.”

“Well, obviously they don’t have much to do then, do they?” Kramer asked. “They must be bored silly.”


“If you were like me in high and had no friends, your term paper would have been done long before the day before.”

“Have a good break. Don’t do anything stupid.”

“When you are drag racing and the steering wheel comes off ... that’s a bad deal.”

“So the test will be on Thursday. I’ll give you one day to waste, one day to panic and one day to actually study.”

“I remember my senior year and I had pretty much what I have on right now, a glorified T-shirt and a zip-up sweatshirt. It was 3 degrees.”

“Yes, of course you can use your notes on the test tomorrow. Just kidding. I like to give you a glimpse of hope before I step on it.”

“Things will get better until we realize we are running out of water ... But that’s not for another 10 to 15 years ... So don’t panic.”

“You people need 6 to 8 hours of sleep per night. I have a bad feeling that is just not going to happen tonight.”

“If you need a carburetor for a F-4 jet, you ain’t going to find it at your local Schuck’s.”

“Christmas was declared a national holiday on June 28, 1870. That was a Tuesday.”

“It was a white stretch convertible Cadillac with red leather seats. I mean, Elvis would have loved that thing.”

“I have been waking up at 4 every morning for the last God knows how many years. I am more of a morning person."

“People, next time you travel to a Third World country be careful of what you eat and drink. And in terms of doing extremely risky things, just don’t do them.”

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