OFF THE RECORD: Now, what would Mother Goose say about this?

Everybody knows Mother Goose. She's the woman of whimsical words. "La grande dame" of the nursery rhyme world. The big mama who keeps those rhymes swirling around well beyond our knee-high-to-a-toadstool years.

In real life, Mother Goose was actually Elizabeth "Mother" Goose, who died in 1757 and is at rest in the Granary Burying Ground on Boston's Freedom Trail. And watch out... this mother of all mothers kept some mighty fine company. Also in the Beantown granary graves are Paul Revere (they named pots and pans after him); Samuel Adams (they named a beer after him); John Hancock (they named an insurance company after him); and Peter Faneuil (they named a tourist shopping mall after him). Oh, and the victims of the Boston Massacre (fortunately, they named nothing after them).

But Ma Goose is still alive and flappin' 245 years after her wings were permanently clipped. Since 1946, the Mother Goose Parade has filled the streets of El Cajon, Calif. every Sunday before Thanksgiving. There's now an official Mother Goose Society and Mother Goose Day was founded in 1987. In fact, Ma Goose even has her own Web (foot?) page. Whatever would she think?

Well, I've taken liberties with some of Mother Goose's more popular lyrics. Here are a few current topics, set to rhyme. Thanks, Mother're timeless.


(Little Miss Muffet)

Little Ms. Diaz

Showed up at the Oscars

As if she just rolled out of bed.

Along came Ms. Paltrow

A huge fashion NO-NO!

Did she think this was Day of the



(Rain, Rain, Go Away)

Spray, spray, go away,

Don't come back as our health will pay,

The little people have had their say.


(Baa! Baa! Black Sheep)

Boo! Hiss! Langley,

What's this sewer talk?

I adore my septic tank,

And problems have I not.

$13,000 for my neighbor?

$26,000 across the way?

But $45,000 for me and my honey,

Is too big a pot to pay!


(Three Blind Mice)

One sad church.

See how it hides.

One sad church.

See how it hides.

They've covered the sins of their fa

thers for years,

Paid off the young victims but left them

with fears;

Do you ever think they'll dry all the


Of one sad church.


(Hush-a-Bye Baby)

Hush-a-bye moviegoers

Sitting in The Clyde,

When previews start,

Leave all talk outside.

When the film begins

Let's please zip it shut

So I can enjoy the movie

And you won't be a butt.


(Little Bo-Peep)

Little Lou Piniella has trained his team,

And nobody's going to stop them;

Let them play ball! Let them win all!

And bring a World Series to Seattle.

Sue Frause can be reached by email at

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