Mr. South Whidbey A contest of the bold, beautiful superheroes

The chilly winter air was warmed Thursday night by something a little nontraditional for the holidays — teenage testosterone and thumping dance music.

The source was the Mr. South Whidbey pageant, an annual event that breaks the beauty contest tradition with its all-male lineup, and in a few other ways. You won’t hear about hopes for world peace and cures for disease here.

Hosted by the high school’s leadership class, the contest brings members of the school’s male population on stage to answer questions and show their talents — no matter how crazy they may be. This year’s show also asked contestants to show off their inner superhero.

Last year’s winner, senior Dane Guetlin, reigned supreme from a nearby on-stage lookout. He wore the Mr. South Whidbey crown and tossed around a glittering scepter that would later be passed to this year’s worthy winner.

There was no pretend modesty out of last year’s winner or this year’s contestants: This was a guy thing.

“They’ve got a standard to meet that was set by myself last year — one of excellence,” Guetlin said of the contestants.

After the men of South Whidbey High were introduced, the competition was broken down into interview, superhero and talent competitions.

Before the pageant, junior Oliver Shafaat looked calm and at ease with the pageant ahead of him that evening.

Shafaat, like many of the other contestants, took the time before the pageant began to greet the judges, tell them how nice they looked that evening and how nice their eyes were.

Pre-contest, Shafaat appeared to be a strong contender, considering he finished as a runner-up in the 2003 pageant. But Shafaat predicted tough competition from a singing trio of juniors, Logan Hanna, Rhett Taylor and Evan Johnson.

In the interview portion of the competition, audience members found out that junior Mosh Berman should be Mr. South Whidbey because he’s apparently a “great dad” and a “sexy couch potato.”

Taking a softer approach, junior Rhett Taylor said that that if he could be any female celebrity, he’d be writer Maya Angelou.

“I don’t tend to put a value on celebrity,” Taylor said. “But she’s an amazing person and I like her poems.”

When asked the off-the-wall question of the night — one relating to animal husbandry — Shafaat would be interested in cross-breeding elephants and Dalmatians, if it was possible.

The talent competition was kicked off by a couple of acrobatic apes. Junior Stu McHugh performed some quick and dirty slide guitar — the first of many guitar acts for the evening.

Even with a malfunctioning microphone, Mosh Berman brought down the house with his rendition of a scene from the one of the “Lord of the Rings” movies. The crowd couldn’t help but crack up at his performance of dual-personalities Smeagol and Gollum, complete with voice and mannerisms on all-fours.

Then came the tough competition that Shafaat predicted — Hanna and Johnson with Taylor on guitar and beat boxing put on a rapping Santa act.

The trio broke down how people think “Santa likes making toys and bringing joy to girls and boys,” and told the true “drama” going on with jolly old Saint Nick “slingin’ toys all over town.”

In Adam Sandler fashion, junior Richard McLean sang a song he wrote about being a dishwasher.

“I was a summer job I had and felt I was pretty good at it,” he told the crowd before he began.

Shafaat head banged and played air guitar to a metal heavy “Hokey Pokey.”

The audience heard pirate jokes from senior Byron Andrews and found out why the pirate went to the movie.

“Because it was rated ‘arrrrrhh’,” Andrews said.

A subdued portion of the evening was seen when junior Alec Schroader showed his talent at meditating.

After a short break, the men of South Whidbey took to the runway as their favorite superheroes. There were many capes and a lot of creativity to be seen on display. Superman and Batman costumes received a little modification to show off adolescent abs. Some flew in as “Gr8t Dads” and others as “SW Man.”

While the judges tallied the votes, a few preliminary awards were handed out in true pageant fashion.

Logan Hanna was voted this year’s Mr. Congeniality and Mosh Berman received the Most Inspirational Award.

Senior Byron Andrews was chosen as second runner-up and first runner-up went to Mr. Congeniality, Logan Hanna. Then, after a broken drum roll from the crowd, the hosts named Shafaat as Mr. South Whidbey.

After that, the pageant was short on ceremony. Shafaat had only seconds to wave to the crowd before contestants cleared the stage and the crowd ran home to watch “The OC” on television.

Some pageants — even in the closing moments — avoid tradition.

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