Opinion

Editor's Column

"The first life-changing invention of the 21st Century is GladWare, of which I already have quite a collection cluttering the kitchen shelves.For those not familiar with the product, GladWare is cheap, airtight, leftover ware. For the first time since man first made too much sabertooth tiger stew and decided to give some to his visitors to take back to their cave, there is now something suitable to put it in.There are two kinds of people in the world, leftover givers and leftover takers. Not being a very good cook, I'm one of the latter. Only the dog asks for my leftovers, and whenever I give him some he barfs on the carpet. On the rare occasion a human asks for some of my leftovers I refuse, fearing they would blame me for their damaged carpet.I've always brought home leftovers, which constituted a problem for the giver. They didn't want to look cheap by stuffing it in a plastic bag, and besides plastic bags don't hold up well during travel. Nobody wants to be blamed for turkey gravy on the car seat or meatballs in the driveway. So, against their better judgement, they'd always give me leftovers in a nice covered dish, usually Corning Ware, and silently kiss the expensive dish goodbye. Sure, I fully intend to bring the dishes back, but I've still got the Easter 1984 Corning Ware in my cupboard. Everybody's like that. Only half the people in the U.S. buy Corning Ware, but everyone has shelvesful because leftover takers never give it back, forcing leftover providers to purchase even more Corning Ware. To Corning Ware, us leftover takers were a goldmine, but the gravy train has ended due to the advent of GladWare.GladWare containers come in packages of three and cost about a buck each. Leftover givers see them as heaven-sent, and happily stuff them full of mashed potatoes, ham, turkey, potato salad, Jello and other table scraps, closing them up with the tight-fitting lid. They seem absolutely joyous when they send you on your way, without that tinge of sadness they used to display when the taker walked off with their last Corningware dish.As a leftover taker, I have only one question. What do I do with all this GladWare? "

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