Oh Miss. I'm trying to connect to Lustylady.com for a school report on breast cancer, but somehow the website keeps kicking out. Can you fix it?Aren't you a bit young for that website?No way. It's fine with my parents. Check your records and you'll see that my Sno-Isle library card gives me unrestricted access to the Internet. My parents signed, saying they'd rather have me doing it in the library than in the house. It's cool to have an unrestricted card. Ask anyone at the elementary school. Kids with restricted cards are dorks and won't show their face in the library.Yes, I see you are unrestricted even though you're 10 years old. I'll fix the computer so you can exercise your First Amendment right to view Lustylady.com. Tell all the kids standing around your computer that I'll be checking their library cards to make sure they're all unrestricted, too. As soon as I help this customer with his books.Oh Miss, there's a strange looking man staring at that computer over there. He kind of worries me, because he's been looking at my kids, too.Yes, I've noticed. Fortunately I've been trained to identify the 10 identifying traits of a child molester. I'm permitted to call the police if he fits at least six of them. Otherwise I'll have the American Civil Liberties Union and American Library Association on my case. Let me see: One, he's wearing a raincoat. Two, he's drooling. Three, his eyes follow kids around the room. Four, he makes frequent visits to the bathroom. Five . . . hmmm. Those are the only four traits I've noticed, but I've been busy. I'll look for the others as soon as I finish with these books. Meanwhile, you might want to take your kids down the street for an ice cream cone. It's safer there.Oh Miss, senior citizens such as myself appreciate the library so much, but what happened to the quiet? There's a group of kids over at that computer laughing uproariously and making all kinds of lewd comments. I've heard them mention how great the 'Lusty Lady' site is.Thanks for your concern, ma'am. The children, however, have a First Amendment right to free speech, as well as a First Amendment right to visit any website they want. However, I am empowered to ask them to whisper their lewd comments out of consideration for our other library patrons. I'll ask as soon as I'd done with these books.Oh Miss, I've been trying to check out these books for 10 minutes now but you're constantly interrupted. From now on I'll just order my books through Amazon.com.Please, sir, don't do that. I love helping people with their reading. That's why I studied so hard for so many years to get this job. It's just that being a librarian isn't what it used to be. " "/> Oh Miss. I'm trying to connect to Lustylady.com for a school report on breast cancer, but somehow the website keeps kicking out. Can you fix it?Aren't you a bit young for that website?No way. It's fine with my parents. Check your records and you'll see that my Sno-Isle library card gives me unrestricted access to the Internet. My parents signed, saying they'd rather have me doing it in the library than in the house. It's cool to have an unrestricted card. Ask anyone at the elementary school. Kids with restricted cards are dorks and won't show their face in the library.Yes, I see you are unrestricted even though you're 10 years old. I'll fix the computer so you can exercise your First Amendment right to view Lustylady.com. Tell all the kids standing around your computer that I'll be checking their library cards to make sure they're all unrestricted, too. As soon as I help this customer with his books.Oh Miss, there's a strange looking man staring at that computer over there. He kind of worries me, because he's been looking at my kids, too.Yes, I've noticed. Fortunately I've been trained to identify the 10 identifying traits of a child molester. I'm permitted to call the police if he fits at least six of them. Otherwise I'll have the American Civil Liberties Union and American Library Association on my case. Let me see: One, he's wearing a raincoat. Two, he's drooling. Three, his eyes follow kids around the room. Four, he makes frequent visits to the bathroom. Five . . . hmmm. Those are the only four traits I've noticed, but I've been busy. I'll look for the others as soon as I finish with these books. Meanwhile, you might want to take your kids down the street for an ice cream cone. It's safer there.Oh Miss, senior citizens such as myself appreciate the library so much, but what happened to the quiet? There's a group of kids over at that computer laughing uproariously and making all kinds of lewd comments. I've heard them mention how great the 'Lusty Lady' site is.Thanks for your concern, ma'am. The children, however, have a First Amendment right to free speech, as well as a First Amendment right to visit any website they want. However, I am empowered to ask them to whisper their lewd comments out of consideration for our other library patrons. I'll ask as soon as I'd done with these books.Oh Miss, I've been trying to check out these books for 10 minutes now but you're constantly interrupted. From now on I'll just order my books through Amazon.com.Please, sir, don't do that. I love helping people with their reading. That's why I studied so hard for so many years to get this job. It's just that being a librarian isn't what it used to be. ""Librarians face new dutiesOh Miss. The privacy screen on computer 4-B is malfunctioning, and everyone walking by can see this gaggle of men, women and geese . . .Never mind the rest. I'll fix it right away as soon as I check out these books.>Oh Miss. I'm trying to connect to Lustylady.com for a school report on breast cancer, but somehow the website keeps kicking out. Can you fix it?Aren't you a bit young for that website?No way. It's fine with my parents. Check your records and you'll see that my Sno-Isle library card gives me unrestricted access to the Internet. My parents signed, saying they'd rather have me doing it in the library than in the house. It's cool to have an unrestricted card. Ask anyone at the elementary school. Kids with restricted cards are dorks and won't show their face in the library.Yes, I see you are unrestricted even though you're 10 years old. I'll fix the computer so you can exercise your First Amendment right to view Lustylady.com. Tell all the kids standing around your computer that I'll be checking their library cards to make sure they're all unrestricted, too. As soon as I help this customer with his books.Oh Miss, there's a strange looking man staring at that computer over there. He kind of worries me, because he's been looking at my kids, too.Yes, I've noticed. Fortunately I've been trained to identify the 10 identifying traits of a child molester. I'm permitted to call the police if he fits at least six of them. Otherwise I'll have the American Civil Liberties Union and American Library Association on my case. Let me see: One, he's wearing a raincoat. Two, he's drooling. Three, his eyes follow kids around the room. Four, he makes frequent visits to the bathroom. Five . . . hmmm. Those are the only four traits I've noticed, but I've been busy. I'll look for the others as soon as I finish with these books. Meanwhile, you might want to take your kids down the street for an ice cream cone. It's safer there.Oh Miss, senior citizens such as myself appreciate the library so much, but what happened to the quiet? There's a group of kids over at that computer laughing uproariously and making all kinds of lewd comments. I've heard them mention how great the 'Lusty Lady' site is.Thanks for your concern, ma'am. The children, however, have a First Amendment right to free speech, as well as a First Amendment right to visit any website they want. However, I am empowered to ask them to whisper their lewd comments out of consideration for our other library patrons. I'll ask as soon as I'd done with these books.Oh Miss, I've been trying to check out these books for 10 minutes now but you're constantly interrupted. From now on I'll just order my books through Amazon.com.Please, sir, don't do that. I love helping people with their reading. That's why I studied so hard for so many years to get this job. It's just that being a librarian isn't what it used to be. " "/> Editor's Column - South Whidbey Record
Opinion

Editor's Column

"Librarians face new dutiesOh Miss. The privacy screen on computer 4-B is malfunctioning, and everyone walking by can see this gaggle of men, women and geese . . .Never mind the rest. I'll fix it right away as soon as I check out these books.>Oh Miss. I'm trying to connect to Lustylady.com for a school report on breast cancer, but somehow the website keeps kicking out. Can you fix it?Aren't you a bit young for that website?No way. It's fine with my parents. Check your records and you'll see that my Sno-Isle library card gives me unrestricted access to the Internet. My parents signed, saying they'd rather have me doing it in the library than in the house. It's cool to have an unrestricted card. Ask anyone at the elementary school. Kids with restricted cards are dorks and won't show their face in the library.Yes, I see you are unrestricted even though you're 10 years old. I'll fix the computer so you can exercise your First Amendment right to view Lustylady.com. Tell all the kids standing around your computer that I'll be checking their library cards to make sure they're all unrestricted, too. As soon as I help this customer with his books.Oh Miss, there's a strange looking man staring at that computer over there. He kind of worries me, because he's been looking at my kids, too.Yes, I've noticed. Fortunately I've been trained to identify the 10 identifying traits of a child molester. I'm permitted to call the police if he fits at least six of them. Otherwise I'll have the American Civil Liberties Union and American Library Association on my case. Let me see: One, he's wearing a raincoat. Two, he's drooling. Three, his eyes follow kids around the room. Four, he makes frequent visits to the bathroom. Five . . . hmmm. Those are the only four traits I've noticed, but I've been busy. I'll look for the others as soon as I finish with these books. Meanwhile, you might want to take your kids down the street for an ice cream cone. It's safer there.Oh Miss, senior citizens such as myself appreciate the library so much, but what happened to the quiet? There's a group of kids over at that computer laughing uproariously and making all kinds of lewd comments. I've heard them mention how great the 'Lusty Lady' site is.Thanks for your concern, ma'am. The children, however, have a First Amendment right to free speech, as well as a First Amendment right to visit any website they want. However, I am empowered to ask them to whisper their lewd comments out of consideration for our other library patrons. I'll ask as soon as I'd done with these books.Oh Miss, I've been trying to check out these books for 10 minutes now but you're constantly interrupted. From now on I'll just order my books through Amazon.com.Please, sir, don't do that. I love helping people with their reading. That's why I studied so hard for so many years to get this job. It's just that being a librarian isn't what it used to be. "

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