LETTER TO THE EDITOR: McCain will be an exciting president
September 3, 2008 · Updated 8:45 AM
To the editor:
McCain will make an interesting, even exciting president. He’ll go with a misstatement over a lie every time. What a breath of air freshener after eight years of mendacious smirks.
Tired of a Decider whose self-anointed infallibility is not limited to matters of faith? Yes, John’s been rabidly consistent regarding his supreme right to tell a woman what she can do with her body, but since he’s started this run for the White Castle he’s flipped his position on so many other major issues, McCain’s could rival McDonald’s if this other thing doesn’t work out.
Don’t worry about his character. In D.C. dumping the old wife in favor of a beer heiress young enough to be your daughter marks one as a sure-fire winner. The same folks pulling the Bush strings are betting on him, and they own the casino.
What year is this? Hey, knock off the ageism. As long as he has Joe Lieberman whispering loudly in his ear hole the difference between Shia and Sunni, Freddy and Fannie, et cetera, we will survive.
Negative nabobs hint that his famous hissy fits could catapult us into a nuclear war, but at least he can pronounce it. Warmongering is not all bad. Selective business opportunities will abound for those who stay out of the rain.
Our major veterans’ groups give McCain’s voting support for them almost a solid 40 percent rating, but it’s not his fault there aren’t enough heiresses to go around. Given the opportunity, I’m sure he’ll find work for our vets someplace: Iraq, Pakistan, Afghanistan and Iran are all tempting.
Still bored? Imagine John in the ICU and V.P. Palin guiding the puck of state.