Grandchildren, it turns out, are one of the unexpected benefits of having children in the first place, or so it often seems to me now. My children were a delight when they were young, but I was so busy working, raising them, keeping a home and a marriage together, that I know I missed fully appreciating all they were.

Grandchildren are a different thing altogether. They move in and out of our lives, always fun when we’re together, giving us a chance to coddle, cuddle, spoil (but only a little) and love almost unconditionally. Except for unusual circumstances, grandparents don’t have to carry on the difficult, day-to-day raising; we can relax and just enjoy having the small ones around, knowing they’ll leave and we can return to our orderly lives until their next visit.

Circumstances have given John and me a lot of time in the company of granddaughters, literally from birth on, so it’s probably not surprising that I admit to partiality.

The experiences we’ve shared ever since they were tiny fill many albums in our library and, more recently, in our computers. From first steps to horseback riding and tennis lessons; from peek-a-boo to soccer games; from diapers to graduation robes and prom dresses, they’ve kept me alert, busy, moving and always pressed to learn new things lest I can’t communicate with them.

Granddaughters, wonderful as they are, have one major drawback, however. They turn into young women, and that’s when the scary part begins.

At some point, and it almost seems to happen in the space of a month or two, they show up for a visit and you notice not-so-subtle changes. Eye shadow, mascara, lip gloss, brassieres, tight jeans and tank tops, lots of giggling and texting about someone named Alex, or Mike, or Jonah. They tell you these male intruders are “just good friends we hang out with.” You are suspicious, and hope to Heaven their parents have had “the talk,” and you wonder how in the world they went from little girl to magazine cover so quickly.

Last week, I went with one granddaughter to help her shop for a dress for her upcoming senior prom, a not insubstantial task, and I had some misgivings.

She wanted formal, floor length, and in her words, “Something really special, Grammie.”

After perusing the offerings in two or three stores, I was discouraged. I know girls dress differently these days, but some of the outfits we saw were about as tacky and unflattering as anything I’ve seen since the ’60s. It occurred to me that I should never have agreed to go on the shopping expedition, because I’d never be able to be positive about what she might choose.

Then we hit the jackpot, a store with one large room filled with nothing but gorgeous gowns for young women, and for every dressy occasion. She picked out two she wanted to try and headed for the dressing room.

I was totally unprepared for what happened when she came back through the door, out of the dressing room.

Suddenly I was back in dear old but long-gone Frederick & Nelson, in downtown Seattle, with my mother, wearing a dress I’ll never forget until my memory banks fail me, my senior prom dress. I was so excited, that day, and I remember wondering about the tears in my mother’s eyes as she looked at me.

When I saw my granddaughter walk out into the room and pause in front of the long mirror, I understood instantly about the tears in my mother’s eyes, just as they were at that moment, in mine.

Thank Heaven for granddaughters.

RECIPES

It seems the prom girl and a few of her friends have planned a pre-prom prep day when they’re getting together to try out hairdos, makeup, accessories, whatever it takes for girls these days to prepare for such a formal occasion. I think I’m flattered that prom girl asked me if I’d make some “stuff” for them to munch on while they’re in the throes of prom prep.

I agreed, only to find myself wondering what in the world one offers a gaggle of gigglers that can be made ahead and left out for consumption whenever the urge strikes, because it’s obvious I’m NOT supposed to hang around after I bring the food.

I’ve come up with these, which I have tried out with success on the young set before; if you have suggestions you’d care to send me, please feel free at the e-mail address below, I have some time before I have to do this.

First, something a bit healthy, although I don’t intend to mention that; it’s just good snacking material.

GRANOLA SNACKS

2 cups old-fashioned oats (not instant)

1 cup shredded sweetened coconut

½ cup pine nuts

½ cup roasted sunflower seeds

½ cup cashews (unsalted natural, if possible)

½ cup roasted salted macadamia nuts

¼ cup sesame seeds

½ cup pure maple syrup

¼ cup vegetable oil

¼ cup dark corn syrup

2 t. mild (light) molasses

½ cup golden raisins

Preheat oven to 300 degrees. Place oats on a large rimmed baking sheet and bake until lightly toasted, stirring occasionally, about 15 min. Transfer to a large bowl.

Increase oven temp. to 350 degrees. Spray the same baking sheet with nonstick spray. Mix coconut, all the nuts and the sesame seeds into the baked oats.

In a small bowl, whisk together the maple syrup, vegetable oil, dark corn syrup and molasses to blend. Pour over the oat mixture, toss to coat evenly. Spread on the prepared baking sheet and bake 12 minutes. Mix in the raisins and continue to bake until granola is a deep golden, about

12 min. longer. Cool granola on the sheet. When completely cool, break into snack size pieces; store airtight until ready to serve.

Note: You can substitute other nuts, such as peanuts, almonds, etc. if preferred.

I discovered light, crunchy cheese twists, made from puff pastry, a number of years ago and often make them for parties. I’m pretty sure the girls will go through these in no time. You can probably think of dozens of variations on these quick, easy munchies.

CHEESE TWISTS

Puff pastry

1 egg, beaten

3 T. finely grated Parmesan cheese

Lay one sheet of puff pastry on a work surface and allow it to thaw. When thawed, brush lightly with beaten egg. Cut into strips about 5/8-inch wide; take each end of the strip in a hand and gently twist the strip in opposite directions twice. Place on a lightly greased baking sheet; sprinkle the Parmesan over the flat parts of the twists. Bake in a preheated 415-degree oven for 10 min., or until puffed and golden. Makes 16 twists.

Variation: Lay sheet of puff pastry on work surface as above; allow to thaw, brush with egg, as above. Sprinkle with 1 T. poppy seeds or sesame seeds and gently press into the pastry. Then cut into strips, twist and bake as above.

And of course, a platter of small peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, a big bowl of popcorn and a bowl or platter of crudites (the girls actually do eat a lot of fresh vegetables as long as they’re available to pick up and eat quickly).

Prom girl’s sister, much to my surprise, offered to make something for their sweet tooth, a candy she found the recipe for in one of my Bon Appetit magazines a couple of years ago and likes to make because it’s easy and she loves peanut butter candy.

HANNAH’S PEANUT BUTTER & CHOCOLATE CANDY

1 lb. quality white chocolate (Lindt is one possibility)

1 cup extra-crunchy peanut butter

12 oz. semisweet chocolate chips

1/2 cup whipping cream

Line a 9x9x2-inch baking pan with foil, leaving an overhang. Spray the foil with nonstick spray. Combine the white chocolate and peanut butter in a metal bowl and set the bowl over a saucepan of barely simmering water (don’t allow bottom of bowl to touch the water). Or use a double boiler, if available. Stir until the chocolate melts and mixture is blended. Spread evenly in the prepared pan and freeze until almost firm, about 15 min.

Meanwhile, place chocolate chips and cream in another metal bowl and set over the same pan of simmering water (don’t let bottom of bowl touch). Stir until the chocolate is melted and mixture is smooth. Spread mixture evenly over the peanut butter mixture. Refrigerate until very firm, at least 3 hrs. (Can be made ahead and kept covered and refrigerated up to 2 days.) Using foil to help, lift the candy out of the pan and cut into 1-inch squares. Serve cold and keep any uneaten candy refrigerated. Makes about 80 pieces.