MONKEY THINK, MONKEY WRITE: It’s too hard to take sides in the polygamy case

It’s been one rotten headline after another this past week.

  • May 24, 2008

BETWEEN CLASSES: Culminating project didn’t go over well with the guinea pigs

Thanks to Bush’s “No Child Left Behind” Act, the Washington State Legislature has been compelled to come up with more stringent standards for graduating seniors.

  • May 17, 2008

It’s time we reduce our carbon food-print

I have a slight problem with dyslexia. However, “backward thinking” isn’t always a disadvantage. These days it seems to be helpful in understanding environmental issues, like the current global food crisis.

  • May 17, 2008

Help make next ‘Celebrate America’ one great festival

It is hard to believe that the Fourth of July is right around the corner. Celebrate America, which takes place on the third of July each year, has become a fixture in our community and gives thousands of people a chance to celebrate freedom and pride in our country in a safe, family, fun atmosphere.

  • May 10, 2008

MONKEY THINK, MONKEY WRITE: There’s plenty of places to see on this campaign tour

John McCain, my friend, has been on the road a lot lately. If you’ve been following the news, you know he is now embarked on what he has named his “Forgotten Places Tour.”

  • Apr 29, 2008

Here’s what you can do for us, Congressman

Recently I received an e-mail from Congressmen Rick Larsen asking how he can help me. I created this list as a guideline for bills he could introduce or co-sponsor and ways to allocate funding. If we want to have a chance of offering our children a future that is remotely like our own lives I believe we will need to start down the path set out below.

  • Apr 23, 2008

To be completely unambiguous: We need to talk!

“Good morning readers!” Or, “Good afternoon,” if you happen to be reading on the East Coast. How was your week? How was your month? How have you been? We’ve been troubled. Troubled by what we have been reading in our local paper about our grandest Island County treasure.

  • Mar 3, 2007

Grumpy old men and other random discords

One of our undercover field reporters, a retired fighter pilot who prefers to be anonymous (can that be achieved on South Whidbey?) tipped this overinformed columnist of some big gossip overheard at the Community Thrift Store last week.

  • Feb 24, 2007

Honesty may just be the missing policy

Given that tomorrow begins the world’s celebration of the Chinese New Year, let us honor the boars in our own lives as we join hands and hearts upon entering The Year of the Boar. Please note that a “boar” or pig is not necessarily a bore.

  • Feb 17, 2007

Valentine’s Day “sonnets” for the humor-deprived

Top of the morning, mates. Or, if you are Down Under, where “mate” is more commonly used, bottom of the morning. Please enjoy this Valentine’s remembrance shared with me by my family in honor of our beloved parents.

  • Feb 10, 2007

Running with scissors: I’m a clip artist at heart

One of the benefits of being a licensed counselor is that I am able to penetrate the guise of my own emotions, subcutaneous my feelings, and then delve into my belief system. Don’t you love the word “delve?”

  • Feb 3, 2007

When Mr. Clean takes a vacation, light some candles

Tomorrow night is my first book study group here at the caboose. I’m just a little bit nervous, not that I have to speak seriously about a subject near and dear to my mind, but that I have to have the caboose bathroom clean enough for women.

  • Jan 27, 2007

Guess who’s coming to dinner with Gandhi and Gehrig

Years ago, during one of our annual family gatherings in southern Missouri, (if locally grown, pronounced Miz-ur-ah), in the town of Thayer, once proud to be “The Feeder Pig Capital of the World,” our Aunt Rosie suggested a parlor game.

  • Jan 20, 2007

There really is no business like show business

As the snow falls lightly on my non-cedars, I am enjoying the best Christmas gift my big brother Lew has ever gifted. Are you sitting down?

  • Jan 13, 2007

Gulliver’s travels were nothing compared to ours

Saint Augustine, one of the theological fountainheads of Reformation teaching on salvation and grace, is said to have said once that “The world is a book, and those who do not travel, read only a page.”

  • Jan 6, 2007