Those of us living on Whidbey Island share a long, narrow “rock” in Puget Sound where we look up when an eagle flies by, watch for whales and notice the first snow in the mountains.
We also share a culture of neighborliness and aspiration towards civility. Many of us on the north end of the island, for example, donate to the Garage of Blessings and volunteer at the Spin Café, while, on the south end, others donate to Senior Thrift and help repair homes with Hearts and Hammers. We also tend to observe traffic rules, help neighbors in trouble and pull to the side of the road when a first responder with flashing lights drives by.
However, on Whidbey as well as nationally, standards of civility have slowly eroded for decades, resulting in an increase in civic rancor that is now threatens our island’s neighborliness and civility. We read reports of increased public rudeness, road rage and name calling in community meetings. Some of us are angry and distrust the basic humanity of those who think and vote differently from us.
Others dread holiday meals and skip neighborhood parties because they don’t want to talk with people with whom they disagree politically.
Because each of us is unique, some conflict is inevitable. But too often now our conflicts are not civil. Incivility makes it difficult for us to hear one another and limits our ability to problem-solve together.
Many of us are concerned that if this level of incivility persists, our island’s culture of neighborliness and civility will continue to fray. So, in 2017 a group of island conservatives, liberals and moderates came together to form “Civility First … So We Can Work Together.” Our goal is to encourage civility and promote respectful listening in order to make our communities, schools and public meetings safe places for honest and open discourse.
You can learn more about the group and sign our aspirational civility pledge at www.civili tyfirst.org. You can also invite us to make a presentation or give a workshop at your church, social group or workplace.
We do not have to accept the inevitability of living in a deeply divided country. It is up to each of us to resist the pull towards incivility. We can choose to listen to each other’s stories and build relationships.
Our children are watching. They need role models who can both share heart-felt opinions civilly and listen with empathy to those with whom they disagree.
During his first inaugural address, Abraham Lincoln said, “We are not enemies, but friends. We must not be enemies. Though passion may have strained, it must not break our bonds of affection. The mystic chords of memory will swell when again touched, as surely they will be by the better angels of our nature.”
Join us in calling down “the better angels of our nature” to help us maintain our traditions of neighborliness and civility.
• Cathy Whitmire is president of Civility First.
