OFF THE RECORD: Tune in to the overly excited Springer show
Published 6:00 am Wednesday, July 17, 2002
It started out like a typical Friday. Rise and semi-shine around seven o’clock — not a tough task with the sunny scene outside. A quick check around the homestead and all looks well. No major garden damage to report this morning, which means our three-pronged attacks against the wascally wabbits seem to be taking hold.
But overhead I hear something vaguely familiar. It’s not a bird, it’s not a plane, it’s not that good lookin’ TV hunk Dean Cain. No, it’s a helicopter. Not a Coast Guard rescue chopper, but a TV twirlybird.
Something big must be happening on the Isle ‘O Whidbey.
As I drive down to The Record office to pick up my week’s accumulation of mail, I note a morning walker scanning the sky. He’s squinting; trying to figure what the overhead commotion is about. I’m curious too, and knowing those motley TV crews, they’re probably hot on the trail of a band of slugs sliming down Highway 525. I mean, what other reason could they be polluting and piercing the beauty of our island sky?
As I unlock the door to The Record office, I’m surprised to see Editor Johnson in place — something major must be going down. The conversation sorta went like this:
“Hi Sue,” said Matt.
“Hey Matt, what’s going on? Why all the choppers?” I ask.
“The whale.”
“The whale?” I reply.
“Yup, the whale. Springer. Something to do with barnacles on the boat.”
“Barnacles on the boat?” I reply.
“Yup. Barnacles. I got a photo. Now I gotta get to work,” said Matt.
After a bit more banter about springing Springer (“Free Jerry!”) I head over to Langley Village Bakery for a latte and croissant to go before I hit the tube. By golly, I wasn’t gonna miss a minute of “Barnacles on the Boat.”
The friendly folks at the bakery knew all about the choppers and the barnacles and Springer and such. Comments ranged from how much fuel they were wasting on such a lame story to why don’t they just drag Springer up to Canada on a rope. I mentioned that they probably didn’t want the baby of the A pod to have to wait in the line at the border. After all, even though we have plenty of people with problems in our own front yard, we gotta take care of our whales!
Returning home, I switch from my normally sane world of National Public Radio to Channels 5, 13 and 36. They must be in blubber heaven; the Springer story is everywhere.
Well, it turns out it’s more than boat barnacles. Apparently, the Nichols’ Brothers Whidbey Island-built catamaran Catalina Jet was due to depart Langley earlier in the morning to pick up Springer in Manchester (Kitsap County, not England) and transport her to “Granny’s Pod” at Telegraph Cove off Vancouver Island in British Columbia. But the departure has been delayed.
Unfortunately, one of the divers hired to prepare the boat for blast off (which includes the scraping of barnacles) didn’t notice that there was something stuck in her intake valve…namely a piece of plastic (an orange buoy). Oops.
Naturally, the three stations airing this earth-shaking news already had titles for their early morning orca shows. “Springer’s Journey” was blazing at KING 5, the station that specializes in windstorms, snowstorms, crime and molestation. “Springer Goes Home” was airing at the way-too-hip Fox Channel 13 — I’ve always thought you had to be 25 or under to make sense of any of their news shows. Maybe the hiring of the middle-aged actor/author/sports guy Tony Ventrella will make it easier to swallow. And “Springer’s Return to the Wild” was playing on NorthWest Cable News on Channel 36. You know, “The very latest in news, weather and sports 24 hours a day.” Even if it’s the tenth time you’ve seen it.
But it has to be the inane commentary of those Channel 13 talkabouts that may force me to never listen to the whisper of a whale again. Here are some special sound bites:
“The day we’ve been waiting for!”
“Springer has been jumping a little bit. He ate a fish at 2 a.m. this morning … having a little snack.”
“Springer is doing just fine.”
“What a momentous occasion. The whole world is watching. This is a huge story.”
“If it’s successful, it will be a historic move.”
“People across the globe plan to tune in.”
Well, fortunately KING 5’s Jim Forman must have been on vacation, so viewers were spared his hysterics and histrionics over the delayed departure of the disabled catamaran.
But they did interrupt regular programming for this Breaking News: “Catamaran Leaving Langley Now. Operation Delayed 24 Hours.”
Phew, now I’ll sleep a whole lot better knowing that this will all happen again tomorrow morning. And better yet, in the words of a KING 5 talking reporter, “A healthy and happy Springer will never know that her homecoming had to be put on hold.”
Free Jerry, indeed.
Sue Frause can be reached by e-mail at skfrause@whidbey.com.
