Randomly rummaging toward the new year
Published 12:00 pm Saturday, December 10, 2005
One of the real important benefits to being a life long collector of each and every piece of paper ever received is the joy one feels upon rediscovery. Astronauts must feel a similar joy upon re-entry of our earth’s atmosphere. The joy of what was.
This morning I decided to continue with my latest project of touching everything I possess before the end of the year.
Call it a Year-End Touch Fest where I look though every abandoned box and every abandoned file. A clearance of the mental kind where I touch every record album, every cassette, or every videotape, be it Beta, VHS, S-VHS, Hi-8, Regular 8, Mini-DVD or PAL. With those tapes comes equipment from yesteryear to facilitate recording and playback.
Some machines just rewind. Some just fast forward. Some have tubes.
I even have the original Island County Fair PA amplifier. It weighs more than I do and serves no function except that it looks cool and may have first been used by Flash Gordon, grandfather of Curt Gordon who joins with Garth and the boys to make many of the neat driveways we enjoy around here.
Which brings me back to another paragraph. This morning upon reviewing a file labeled “Caption Contest,” I really found some great rediscoveries.
When I first wrote for the South Whidbey Record a decade ago, my editor Jim Larsen, now editor of our northend companion, The Whidbey News-Times, suggested that I have a name for my column. So, being the interactionary that I am, I asked the readers to help me decide by having a column-naming contest. My first response came from my buddy Cliff Lindsey, a local legend now and our Hometown Hero for Eternity.
Hi Bro:
There could be only one name that Jim Larsen would buy-off on: Off The Track (or without the THE). Track=sidetracked; OFF THE = Sue’s OFF THE RECORD.
Now myself, I would like an unconventional looong title (can you be unconventional?).
One of my favorite poem stanza endings would be fitting here: LIFE’S A VERY FUNNY PROPOSITION AFTER ALL. The title of the poem is WHY WE’RE HERE AND WHAT IT’S ALL ABOUT. Or LIFE’S A VERY FUNNY THING.
CONDUCTOR= TICKET(s) PLEASE. How loony do you want to look?
CABOOSE DROPPINGS (?) I just thought of this one and like it. Ah, composing on the screen! Maybe I should say composting on the screen. Now this might be Larsen’s type of humor.
Of course you would have to tell about living in a caboose in the credits like you did in the Island-Independent.
I don’t think I can top the last one.
Bye bye!
Cliff
Keep in mind that Cliff typed this letter that I am honored to quote in toto on his computer back when 5-and-a-quarter-inch floppy disks and a 286 hard drive was a thrill.
Cliff was also familiar with the fact that I worked and lived in a 1928 Milwaukee Road caboose, which was and still is the sight of many of our musings.
If I had not filed and saved Cliff’s letter those many years ago, I never would have known today that his column name suggestion of “Off Track” way back finally has become a reality.
Last September I called my sister Linda to see if she liked “On Track” as a name for the new column. Of course, she agreed. That’s why she is still my sister.
Then I called my big brother Lew to see if he liked “On Track.”
“How about Off Track?” he suggested.
Notice how Cliff’s letter to me started “Hi Bro.”
Thanks Cliff. Thanks Lew. We be on the same page once again.
In closing, here’s part of an e-mail that I would like to share with you and Cliff — The Smart Aleck Awards for 2005. You may have already seen this. I changed one word above as I did not think the three-letter word would pass. I excerpt below winners #2 and 3, which are the only family friendly ones for our paper.
Winner #3 — The cop gets out of his car, while the kid who was stopped for speeding rolls down his window. “I’ve been waiting for you all day,” the cop said.
The kid replied, “Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.”
Runner-up Winner #2A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign appears that reads, “Low Bridge Ahead.”
Before he knows it, the driver has his truck right under the bridge and gets it stuck. Cars and traffic are backed up for miles.
Finally, a police car appears.
The cop gets out of his squad car, approaches the truck driver and stands beside the rig. Placing his hands arrogantly on his holster and handcuffs, the officer smirks, “Got stuck, huh?”
The truck driver says, “No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas.”
See you next week, in the paper or on our Web site cmg-northwest2.go-vip.net/southwhidbeyrecord. Hit the Opinion link at the top of the home page for more musings.
Jim can be reached at www.freemanentertainment.com.
