LETTER TO THE EDITOR | The problem in Clinton: How to get people to stay

Published 4:33 pm Friday, January 29, 2016

Editor,

I have some further thoughts about Clinton’s economic future.

The problem: How to get people to linger in Clinton and spend a little money.

The solution (which has been painfully obvious for the past millennium): Install public restrooms accessible to people waiting in the ferry line.

Imagine the economic activity this would create! The state “Department of Tolls” (formerly the Department of Transportation) could sell “Good to Go” passes to motorists, photograph their license plates when they stop to use the restrooms, then send them a bill in the mail. Call it “Fee to Pee.” The amount of toll, of course, would depend on the length of the ferry line, or the number of people waiting to use the restrooms, but the Department of Tolls would solemnly promise that never, under any circumstances, ever, no matter what, would the tolls ever exceed $10. At least for now.

Oh, but wait! Clinton has no community septic system. That means no public restrooms. Darn. Guess we’ll have to flush that idea.

I suppose that means motorists will continue to speed through beautiful downtown Clinton, not because they don’t just love the place, but because they’re trying desperately to reach the restrooms at the ferry dock before it’s too late. Oh, well.

STEVE RAYMOND

Clinton