To possibly dream the impossible dream

Published 5:00 am Saturday, December 9, 2006

I had a dream last night.

At least I think it was a dream. It could have been a vision. I’m not really sure since my eyes were closed.

Grandpa Freeman had a vision once. As the story goes, one early morning after a big night with some of the local rounders and his fellow railroad pals in Thayer, Mo., Grandpa awoke, startled, exclaiming to his wife Pearle that God had spoken to him.

“Honey, God just spoke to me. He wants me to be a Baptist preacher!”

“Go back to bed Ollie. You’re still drunk.”

My dream last night was not induced by spirits, but quite possibly by the corn starch free gravy I enjoyed at Langley Mayor Neil’s Clover Patch Café.

Or maybe my dream was induced by the hot and tasty Shot in the Dark graciously served me by Kelsey Greene at Whidbey Coffee’s Bayview location, next to Dana Gildersleeve’s Whidbey Tire and Auto?

In my dream, chairman of the Fair Board Dan Ollis of Whidbey’s Coffee was seated at a strange shaped table decorated with holiday garland and poinsettias.

The table was shaped just like Whidbey Island.

Joining Dan at the table, made of old-growth cedar and Lincoln logs, were several Island County celebrities: First Lady Candace Culver, wife of Mayor Colburn; Sherry Mays, publisher of The South Whidbey Record; Jim Larsen, editor of The Whidbey News-Times; Suzanne Sinclair, Island County Auditor; Laura Blankenship, former executive director of the Greenbank Farm; and Sen. Mary Margaret Haugen sporting a stylish sequined sport coat with an inscription on the back, “Camano is part of Island County, too!”

Although no one was keeping minutes of the meeting in my dream, because of my short-term memory skills, I am able to recall some of what was said, but I just do not recall by whom.

You be the judge.

We be the jury.

“Well, now that we have the results of our special countywide election, shall we begin implementation?”

“Sure. Let’s roll.”

“By roll, do you mean kaiser or dinner?”

“I think we’re missing the point here. The election results are in. The voters of Island County, in accordance with the unanimous decision of the Island County Fair Board…”

“Unanimous? C’mon now. How many people voted? Who showed? Was there a quid pro quorum?”

“You’re out of order. We’re speaking in zip code sequence here.”

“Alright then, I’ll wait until 98249 is finished.”

“So, to recapitulate, the voters have spoken. The Island County Fairgrounds in Langley has been sold and will be turned into a park for big trucks with small drivers. The massive monies generated by the sale will provide the infrastructure for the new buildings needed at our county fair’s new location, the Greenbank Farm.”

“This is so cool. I am so excited that Langley will be the first city in the world to have a subterranean McDonald’s. I hear that only their golden arches will be above ground.”

“What about the new combination coffee roaster/brew pub/sports bar/laundromat/water slide going in on top of the hill by the rich people? That should bring in the tourists. With all the new available parking in Langley, things will be finally hopping here in the Village by the See-Saw.”

“Won’t that one affordable house development look nice? I hope they hang Christmas lights. Can I say Christmas?”

“We need to consider the impact of a permanent Ferris wheel on the local eel grass at the Greenbank Farm. And how will that Ferris wheel affect the geese? Will they get goosed?”

“Not just yet. Let’s table that discussion until the port goes starboard. After all, now that we have all decided to get along, I think we can go back to one community newspaper, published just once a week, for the whole island. All for one and one for Sound Publishing. Plus, all our local news is good news now. There is absolutely nothing in the sheriff’s report lately but lost dogs, some corn, some hot.”

“I think we should grant an easement for that Highland development water slide so it can cross above Camano Road and extend all the way to the Langley Marina. Talk about the Highland Games!”

“Great idea. Let’s name the water slide after Ben Reams.”

“Did you say Jim Beam? I don’t think so. That would conflict with our zoning for the new Jacob Anthes Brew Pub. We need to be careful here.”

And then, I woke up, startled, but still.

Was it a dream? Was it a vision? Could it have been a daymare in the nighttime?

Does it really matter?

In the words of J. Sterling: “Toil, feel, think, hope; you will be sure to dream enough before you die, without arranging for it.”

Ah yes, clarity strikes again, when we least expect it.