OFF THE RECORD: Phone books, bags are just more litter

Published 9:00 am Wednesday, October 23, 2002

Just when the spam level in my e-mail box was getting to an almost tolerable level, unsolicited items started landing in my back yard.

Friday morning I noticed what appeared to be a white plastic bag in my driveway. I didn’t think much of it; maybe a gust of wind blew the bag into our yard or a nosy neighborhood dog was taking inventory of our garbage can.

Picking up the wet bag, I spotted VERIZON sprawled in black and red on both sides, with two enticing messages: “Need help making better decisions? It’s in the bag with Verizon SuperPages & SuperPages.com” and “Let the secrets to better searches out of the bag.” Oh, joy.

As I poked through the plastic sack, there it was. Yet another telephone directory, but this one titled Verizon SuperPages of Greater Whidbey Island. What next, AT&T Extraordinary Pages of GWI? MCI Great Value Pages of GWI? Sprint Superior Pages of GWI?

Driving off for my morning latte, I spotted Verizon bags everywhere — in driveways, on lawns and several lurking by the sides of the road. Did the directory delivery dudes do a drive-by in the dead of night and pitch them anywhere they pleased?

They need new blood in their bullpen.

I called Verizon Customer Relations to complain about the plastic bags littering our lovely landscape, and they referred me to one of their media relations people. She was out of the office, so I left a voice mail. I then contacted the Directory Distribution Call Center, whose phone number was listed on the outside of the SuperPages of GWI directory.

The DDCC customer service representative knew nothing about the distribution of phone books on GWI. “I’m in California,” she said apologetically.

Several minutes later, Verizon’s media relations person returned my call. I ranted and raved to her about the plastic bag eyesore on GWI and explained that I didn’t order the book, nor did I want it. She was semi-sympathetic and said that in many cases people appreciate the book. I told her I didn’t. She also said that another Verizon person would call me to answer any specific questions I might have.

Media relations person No. 2 eventually called and said that the GWI SuperPages have been distributed on the island for three years. Local contractors do the actual delivery (So why don’t they utilize the doorknob holes at the top of the bag instead of hurling them who knows where?). Verizon also claims that SuperPages are found in more homes than any single directory in the USA.

Well, not mine. I’m happy with my Whidbey Telephone and MacGregor’s Plaid Book directories — they suit me just fine.

And what about that ripped up plastic bag now wadded up on the floor? I’ll try to keep it away from babies and children. And I won’t use it in cribs, bed, carriages or playpens.

Maybe I’ll mail it back to Verizon instead.

TELEPHONE TRIVIA FROM WWW.TELEPHONETRIBUTE.COM

• In the early days of the telephone, operators would pick up a call and use the phrase, “Well, are you there?” It wasn’t until 1895 that someone suggested answering the phone with the phrase, “Number, please?”
• The first “HELLO” badge used to identify guests and hosts at conventions, parties, etc. was traced back to September 1880. It was on that date that the first Telephone Operators Convention was held at Niagara Falls and the “HELLO” badge was created for that event.
• In Milan, Italy, when an operator dialed a wrong number, the phone company fined the operator.
• Western Electric invented the loudspeaker that was initially called “loud-speaking telephone.”
• Marshall McLuhan created the advertising tagline “Reach out and touch someone” for Ma Bell.
• Western Electric mass-produced color telephones for the first time in 1954.
• Western Electric successfully brought sound to motion pictures and introduced systems of mobile communications that culminated in the cellular telephone.
• The use of telephone answering machines became popular in 1974.
• In the United States, 54% of wireless phone users are men and 46% are women.

Sue Frause can be reached by e-mail at skfrause@whidbey.com.