After dancing in the dark, I’m light-headed

Published 3:00 pm Saturday, December 23, 2006

The most difficult thing about these end of the year columns is that a columnist likely wants them to be like end of the year movies.

Power-packed.

Purpose-driven.

Powerfully provocative yet filled with gate receipts.

Bill Gates already has enough receipts, so let’s talk about gifts instead of receipts.

All together now, Puget Sound Energy rocks!

And what about George and Jerry!

This compassionate duo, Whidbey Telecom’s George Henny and Electrical Guru Jerry Beck, powered with generators the most exciting Whidbey Dance Theatre production of “The Nutcracker” in years. These heroes give new meaning to the adage that “the show must go on.”

I don’t know about you, but I learned a lot about myself during this last power packed powerlessness.

I learned that reading by Sebo powered plumbers’ candles or LED-powered book lights from Ace Hardware in Freeland isn’t so inconvenient after all.

I also learned that I read a lot better, that is with a modicum of retention, when it is quiet.

No TV, no distraction. No radio or CD playing, no distraction.

No sound, no reason to be mentally elsewhere.

I learned while reading at candlelight that in comedian Richard Pryor’s last interview he was asked, “If you believe in God, what’s the first thing you think He’d say when you reach the Pearly Gates?”

“Hey Rich, with or without an olive?”

No wonder Norbert Weiner said once “To live life effectively is to live with adequate information.”

Weiner is a great last name for a guy named Norbert.

We had a Norbert in our squad bay at Camp Pendleton in 1970. Norbert Blaski.

Norbert, AKA Sonny, bunked below Ralph Kackman, a Minnesota farm boy who twice monthly loaned our barrack mates money when we cardsharks would run out a couple days before payday.

We called him the Bank of Ralph.

I know deep down within my genetically allocated female intuition that somewhere today Ralph Kackman, Minnesota farm boy, is either a respectable banker, a less respectable day trader or a greeter at the local Wal-Mart near the family farm.

I probably still owe Ralph money, but then he probably still owes me for helping him get to the infirmary one Saturday night while I had the duty and pleasure of being the NCO of the day.

Ralph thought that he might be getting a secondary high from one of the guys down the hall who was eating blotter acid instead of creamed chipped beef on toast.

Talk about sending out an SOS.

I explained to Ralph that his fear was the myth of a Hunter Thompson novel, so after his infirmary affirmation, Ralph returned to his top bunk and his Patsy Cline tapes.

Another thing I learned during the last power outage is that slowing down isn’t half-bad.

It’s just half fast.

Dad said once that I was half fast. Or at least I think that’s what he said.

I ran the third leg on our mile relay team. The only time Dad was ever in town to see us run we set the school record. The track cinders are still buried in my right shoulder from the fall I had passing the baton to anchorman Jimmy Shaughnessy.

Jimmy went on to play football for Frank Kush at Arizona State.

I went on to Ohio Wesleyan where I was kicked out for drinking 3.2 beer in the dorm. If my grade point had been 3.2, I could have graduated to six percent.

Oh yes, the joy of the power outage, when we can reflect, seeing ourselves in the darkness, remembering.

This Christmas, Kwanza and Hanukkah season, let us give thanks once again.

Thanks to Puget Sound Energy and all of our Whidbeyians who helped clothe, feed, warm, support, comfort and care for our neighbors in need.

You rock, Whidbey!

Is it any wonder we all call our home, The Rock?