One of the most treasured American freedoms practiced in communities like ours across this country is the freedom to hold and express divergent and even opposing views on issues. Many people provide us in the city with very worthwhile suggestions, criticisms, questions, and perspectives about current issues of municipal interest. Sometimes it is challenging to really listen to these excellent suggestions when the input is accompanied with a further statement like: “if you’re not smart enough to see this then you deserve what you get!” or “who thought up this idea? – this idea is absurd!” or “do this unless you’re too lazy to do it, then maybe you can get one of your employees to do this.”

I wonder how many great ideas never get listened to and implemented because the idea gets overshadowed and lost by this kind of concluding comment. An art form many successful people have mastered is the ability to say something difficult, courageous, or conflicted without attacking the individual. Some of the best feedback I have received in a 30-plus-year career in public administration has been the most difficult for people to tell me or hardest for me to hear. One of the most memorable interactions I had occurred in my last year as school superintendent when a mom, who had a long history of negative interactions with school administrators, said to me, “Dr. McCarthy, I want you to know I met with the principal and I never used the “F” word once.” I said, “And how did that work for you?” She responded, “Very well!” I said, “I’m proud of you. You have learned a great skill for dealing with conflict. You can advocate for your child better that way.” She thanked me for the times we had met over the last five years.

More civility in municipal discourse could improve everyone’s hearing and result in more great ideas being heard and implemented.

Sincerely,

Fred