One thing none of us escape in this life is pain and sorrow. Unfortunately, it can be a harsh world. Some pain we bring on ourselves, some others are inflicted on us. Regardless, how do we cope?
Hometown Hero Shellie Moore suggests that once we are ready, there is a gift for us lying hidden underneath this pain — a special gift that can be our offering to our community.
“For some, this gift might be empathy, for others, insight, or maybe humor,” Moore said. “When we find a way to give this gift to others, our own healing slowly takes place.”
Moore’s wounds began at birth. Her mother was unable to be there for her emotionally, because she was grieving the sudden death of Moore’s father just days before her birth.
Having to work full time to support Moore and her 1-year-old brother, her mother wasn’t available physically, either. The years to follow would bring various babysitters — some OK, some horrible, Moore said.
Then things got even worse. When Moore was 14 years old, her mother died suddenly at work. Moore and her brother were moved to separate homes for the first year. Later they were moved together to live in New York with their aunt, Win Anderson, now a Clinton resident.
Moore says the saving grace for her and her brother was the nurturing of relatives and neighbors. These substitutes took the two to church and on campouts, and made them birthday cakes.
“I remember one aunt making crafts and Christmas ornaments with me,” Moore said. “We then gave most of them to charities.”
She points to one of those ornaments now hanging on her Christmas tree. “This aunt not only taught me how to make these things, but she showed me that it is in the giving that we receive.”
“I don’t think figuring out our gifts comes necessarily easy to us,” Moore said, “and sometimes they come out of difficult and unpleasant experiences.”
She says she wants to make it clear she made some poor choices, bringing some of her pain on herself.
“Particularly in my teen years,” she said, and then smiled. “A little penitence never hurt anybody.”
By uncovering the pain and a little guilt, too, in her life, what she found was a tremendous passion and love for new mothers and their babies. She exhibits this deep-rooted feeling in many ways. She’s as a stay-at-home mother to her own two children and she’s a doula, one who is trained to give emotional and informational support before, during and after birth. She has provided this service for about 150 families.
Moore also teaches childbirth classes, speaks at conferences, and trains and inspires other doulas. And she does most of this for little or no monetary gain.
“I am fortunate that I have a husband who supports me in this,” she said.
Moore has innocence about her in her soft voice and sweet loving spirit. At the same time, she is very capable and wise about life.
One of the important gifts she gives to this community is her work with the nonprofit organization Pregnancy Aid, where she has been the primary volunteer and director for 19 years. Here new mothers of any age and any income can come in for every kind of free support imagined, whether it’s emotional or educational, pregnancy testing, car seats, clothes, and all sorts of items for new mothers and babies.
Here every Tuesday Moore leads a Mothers Circle group to inform and support moms with their young children. She gets personally involved in these women’s lives, and more than a few times she and her husband, Lance, have opened their home to them.
Julia Winchester said she met Moore at Pregnancy Aid in April of 1996.
“Shellie taught me my childbirth classes,” Winchester said. “She discovered I was living in a place more suited for adults. She invited me to come live with her and her family. It was three weeks before Christmas, and I was immediately made to feel at home. Shellie and I made cookies and candy together.”
Moore made sure Winchester had everything for her baby’s imminent arrival.
“She gave me the ear, shoulder, and understanding I so needed at that time,” Winchester said. “I went to church with her and her family. They made me feel so safe and comfortable. Then she was the doula at my very long labor. She is a very caring and giving person, the like of which I have never met. I will always love her. I want to become a compassionate and competent doula like Shellie.”
Moore has the privilege of telling some women their dreams have come true, that they’re finally pregnant. However, she also has the task of informing some young girls of their worst nightmare, that they are pregnant.
“There are some heartbreaking situations,” Moore reflected. “A woman came in with four children under 5, with a husband in jail. Or a young mother who is living in her car, a young pregnant teen with nowhere to go.”
Moore says she knows she does not have all the answers, and she networks with other agencies.
“There is a wide range of people that come through the door,” she said, “from the highly educated and well to do to the financially strapped and stressed, from smooth-sailing parents to those who barely have their heads above water.”
Moore says she has an affinity for the little ones, but the real draw for her is the mother.
“One of the doula’s callings is to mother the mother, so she can mother her baby,” she said. “We want the mother to bond with her baby in gentle loving kindness, so we treat the mother that way ourselves.”
Moore says she knows first-hand how important this is.
“When I had my babies, my relatives and my support group encouraged and supported me. It made a huge difference.”
By the time her children were school-aged, Moore joked. “They were so pleasant I didn’t want to send them away. Where was the big yellow bus when they were going through their terrible twos?”
Moore co-founded the first homeschool group on Whidbey Island in 1984.
“That was the most fun time of my life,” she said. “Lance and I experienced everything again with our kids — cumulus clouds, polliwogs, fractions, field trips — all with a great group of other homeschool families.”
Cynthia Jaffe, a licensed midwife from Greenbank, said, “It’s hard to write about Shellie Moore. Should I focus on her very kind and incredibly caring nature? Wait, how about her wonderful sense of compassion and social justice? Who cannot be moved by her love of life and her strong belief in the wonder of the human race? No matter how many times it disappoints, Shellie forgives and believes and that belief is the guiding light of her actions on this earth.
“We have shared in the intimacy, passion and joy of the birthing room together over 50 times. The women and their families owe a huge debt to Shellie Moore. Quietly, year after year, without pay, she provides a place for new moms to come, share and learn. She is a mentor to hundreds of mothers.
“Shellie was born to give solace and nurture to those in need. She is a gift to this community.”
Moore says she hopes everyone will find the gifts lying hidden underneath life’s pain, and reap healing and fulfillment by expressing those gifts in the world.
The personal side of Shellie
What is the nicest thing anyone ever said to you?
“Someone said and kept his marriage vows to me.”
Is there a lesson you’ve learned?
“A couple was so kind and good to me growing up, then when I got married they disappeared out of my life. I thought that maybe they didn’t like my husband, or thought I got married too young. But no, later I learned the wife became seriously ill, and they lost everything. I should have pursued the relationship. I learned not everything is about me.”
Do you have a motto to live by?
“Do justice, love mercy, walk humbly with your God. It’s Micah 6:8. And — Love people, use things.”
Do you have a pet peeve?
“When I do a pregnancy test and ask, have you been trying to get pregnant? No? Well, then, have you been using contraceptives? No? HELLO!”
Is there something you still ask yourself?
“Should I go to college and get a degree? Would this help me to help more people?”
Is there a time you were sure you were doing God’s will?
“Lance and I wanted to take our children and volunteer in Belize for a year but wondered how we would afford it. We sat and prayed about it together, (not a regular event), and the phone rang. Someone asked Lance to come to Alaska for five months working as a fisherman and make a lot of money. He did, and we went as soon as he got back.”
Who are the people on South Whidbey you admire and look up to?
“Pastor Matt and Barb Chambers, Cynthia Jaffe, and all the conscientious and loving parents I have had the honor to work with.”
What others say about Shellie
“Shellie Moore has a great heart of compassion. She exemplifies and expresses God’s grace in her interaction with the women at Pregnancy Aid, community members, expectant mothers, people in the church and those in her family. Shellie is an asset to the community of South Whidbey and to the community of faith on South Whidbey. The Bible says to give honor where honor is due. Honor is definitely due Shellie for her years of dedicated love to the community and especially to young mothers.”
— Pastor Matt Chambers, Assembly of God Church
“Shellie is by far one of the most selfless people I have met as a public health nurse. For as long as I can remember, she has been serving pregnant women and new families on South Whidbey. She provides practical support such as equipment and clothing and referrals to appropriate agencies. Most important, she provides moral support and friendship. She helps people network and creates community in their own lives. She is a true inspiration to me, an example I seek to emulate.”
— Dana Kelly, Public Health Nurse
“What is most important to Shellie is her faith and her family. She rolemodels how to be a decent individual. She is a cherished gift to myself, and to this community.”
— Lynda Imburgia, longtime friend and foster parent
“Shellie has helped me in so many ways ever since I became pregnant. Now that my daughter is 18 months, she is still there to help me. She is a mother forever. I am truly glad that she is going to be honored. Let’s celebrate Shellie!”
— Kirsten Rayor, a mom
“In our 20-year relationship, she has delighted our children with fun and messy creative activities. We have had in depth conversations about life. One of the greatest gifts she gave me was when our son Amos was hospitalized and she showed up at the hospital and stayed with us all night and day. She sang to us, and prayed with us. She was the grounding and calming presence. She even took notes for us when the intensive nurse came out and talked to us. Shellie is the most generous, giving person I have ever known.”
— Karen Samuelson, longtime friend and parent educator
“She is actually a true angel from heaven. Everyone can learn from Shellie to have a deep abiding faith, to keep a sense of honor, and to be nonjudgmental. A saying makes me think of Shellie: Gentle the mother, peaceful the child, symbol of hope in a world reconciled.”
— Linda Walsh, a mom and B&B owner
“Shellie’s Mothers Circle is one of the most consistent and supportive programs for young mothers on the south end. For years, she has worked tirelessly without monetary rewards. If you get a quarterly schedule you will find she makes use of a broad range of community people who bring quality presentations to Mothers Circle on a variety of early parenting and family issues. She has developed resources for parents. Recently I was in need of a front pack for a mom. I called Shellie, immediately she had it hung on my back door, no questions asked. It is time the community recognizes her for all of the gifts she brings to young families.”
— Karin Watson, Island County parent coordinator
