“Ooooo, dat wascaly wabbit. Oooooo.”
One can almost picture Elmer Fudd fuming over Langley’s newly declared public enemy number one — Bugs Bunny. Lips pursed, shaking his head and lifting a fist to the heavens crying, “That scwewy wabbit!”
Well, Fudd had it right.
Crafty, evil at heart and multiplying exponentially, these furry menaces are a nefarious bunch indeed. Clearly they’re trying to take over the town, and one can’t help but wonder at Mayor Fred McCarthy’s maintenance of a do-no-harm bunny policy.
The only explanation is that he’s in league with them. That, or he’s just a straight-up bunny lover.
Either way, don’t be fooled. These floppy eared, garden-wrecking, mobile traffic hazards are obviously a threat, having hopped their way into the highest echelons of Langley government.
Of course, they could be aliens in disguise. Think about it: big dopey ears, soft fur and a laughable excuse for a tail. It’s all to throw us off our guard. Seriously, why do they appear so disarming yet in such great numbers.
Like the classic film “War of the Worlds,” these globe wreckers emerge from underground and wreak havoc. Destroying landscaping, darting into traffic, giving innocent people the evil eye — and that’s just the start.
Perhaps arming citizens with shotguns isn’t the best way to go, at least it never seemed to work out for Elmer Fudd. But now we’re affording them police protection?
Is this really happening? Where does it end? Are we destined to be a town of bunnies? Should they be allowed to vote? What’s next?
One could argue that Langley’s rabbit population is one of the things that make the city endearing, but there are other ways to promote the Village by the Sea. Perhaps the chamber of commerce or main street could organize hunting excursions into certain parts of town — the sparsely populated areas, of course. Safety first.
Maybe that’s not such a good idea either, particularly since Langley’s rules don’t even allow the firing of a BB gun in town. But, if the city won’t do anything, what are homeowners to do? Build fences? Have big cats? Post sternly worded no trespassing bunny signs?
It appears their only recourse is to throw up their hands and live with them. It’s either that or elect Fudd for mayor in the next election.
