It may not be long before America’s favorite governor has a new book deal. Rumor has it that Sarah Palin may make up to $7 million for her memoirs, and believe me, it will be worth every penny.

She’ll have a lot of ground to cover in the book. First, Americans need to know — deserve to know — if she has any skeletons in her closet. And given the amount of money she has spent on clothes over the past few months, those skeletons should also be very well dressed.

Then we’ll need to know her plans for 2012. Will she run? And if elected president, will she assemble a team of rivals for her cabinet, with Elisabeth Hasselbeck, Whoopi Goldberg and those other ladies from “The View”?

I’m really looking forward to her new book, especially since she’s has gotten trashed so much in the media lately. That trip she made to a turkey farm in Alaska last week was a fiasco.

I can’t blame her for wanting to do a presidential-style poultry pardon. It’s a traditional thing this time of year.

If you’ve seen the video, though, the photo opportunity didn’t turn out that well. Poor Palin. I felt bad for her, I really did.

It’s like that famous old saying, “It’s hard to soar with the turkeys when you’re getting ground up with the giblets.”

The whole turkey farm visit was a public relations disaster. Good news, however; Palin is going to remake her image with some volunteer work. She’s going to be answering calls on the Butterball Help Hotline over the next few days, so if you hear a familiar voice on the line, it just may be the former vice presidential candidate.

She’ll give some practical advice, I bet, on how to find the perfect bird.

“Now when Tom Turkey comes rearin’ his head‚” she’ll say.

Some say Palin may get a gig on television before she decides to run for president. There’s also a rumor she may get some work in Hollywood. I imagine it’s probably work as a stuntwoman, because I’ve heard her talk lately of “plowin’ through doors.” Maybe she’ll be in a few barroom brawls in the next western Clint Eastwood makes; she can bust a bottle over somebody’s head or break a chair over someone’s back. Should be good experience if she tries to replace Ted Stevens in the Senate.

Palin would be a great addition to the Senate, and is one person I know who could reach across the aisle. Actually, Republicans and Democrats aren’t that far apart, really, when it comes to politics these days.

Palin is a lot like Obama, as it turns out. She seeks out and enjoys dissenting voices on her staff. Let’s replay the tape from a recent inner circle meeting in the governor’s mansion.

“Governor, I don’t mean to be contrary, but I really think you should get the Louis Vuitton bag for Piper instead of that handbag you saw at the Wasilla JC Penney’s.”

“Really?”

“Of course. Then you can ‘borrow’ it the first time she’s grounded. Say, how have her grades been lately?”

I was so excited about her upcoming book deal that I called the governor’s office up in Alaska for a little chat. Secretly, I was hoping she needed a ghostwriter.

“Now, governor,” I said, “there was a bit of criticism of you during the campaign because some folks didn’t think you had enough world experience. What are you going to do to silence those critics in the future?”

“Well, let me tell ya,” she said. “I’m going on a worldwide tour next year; the continents of Europe, England, Central Europe.”

“Any plans to visit Turkey?”

“I’m not talking Turkey today, Mr. Gotcha Journalist. I’m going to some other African nation, not that one.”

“Really, which one?”

“Well, I’ve always wanted to visit the one that was named after Tarzan. Tarzania. Then I’ll likely visit some other ania’s. Romania. Lithuania. Mesopotamia-ania.

I have a real mania for the ania’s.”

We had a great little talk on the phone, and covered a whole bunch of topics. We chatted about the GOP plan to reclaim the debate, for example, since the election.

She told me Republicans have since given up on trying to create fear about Obama and have turned their attention instead to other socialists who are known for their wealth redistributionist policies or share, share, share philosophies.

Instead, they are going to start warning people about Santa “Hussein” Claus and Easter “Al-Qaeda” Bunny.

Next time: Choices.