Happy holidaze.

We promise not to take too much of your time.

We’re in Vegas and we need to get back to the tables. Just kidding.

After driving from Freeland to Vegas in my dirty little blue pick-up truck, the last thing I need is to place more cash in automated machines.

At least I finally learned my pin number.

And to those of you who think I am crazy for driving several hundred pounds of unneeded Christmas presents several hundred miles, you are correct.

Why use UPS when you can use Motel 6 instead?

As I write this summary of highlights and low beams, keep in mind that I still have to get home, only 1,400 miles away according to my Chevy S-10 pre-digital odometer.

Leaving Whidbey 48 hours before my expected arrival for Christmas dinner in Sin City was a major bonus. While everyone else seemed to be exiting I-5 for adjacent malls, me and my 1987 blue bomber were cruising express lane style, southbound toward our first stop, Brush Prairie, home of Mariners still first baseman Richie Sexson.

I was not going to Sexson’s for Christmas, but instead was meeting my cousin Pat, a kite-boarding dentist from Hood River who was driving over to meet me to pick up a crown that I almost swallowed while eating an old box of jujy fruits.

That story another time.

After our sharing family stories of moms and dads with hosts Gene and Stu, and golden retrievers Sophie, Gracie, Bandit and Trouble, and after consuming two plates of corn beef, spuds and cabbage, and a delicious slice of homemade Hockinson Café apple pie with walnuts and secret sauce, I continued my journey south on I-5.

For me, I-5 is nothing but a frontage road for the places I have lived the last 37 years, so every time I head north or south on this San Diego to Seattle connector, I feel at home.

Not that I have not noticed a few changes since my last road trip in my father’s Oldsmobile.

Number one, I have yet to pass a car.

I really tried in Oregon where you can only drive 60 mph, but just as I thought I was passing my first car, it pulled into a rest area.

Oh sure, I passed 18-wheelers and trucks with trailers and dark windowed motor coaches filled with country music legends.

Or so I supposed driving passed with a muted AM radio. Why bother with radio when you can smell the wind?

I did pick up Seattle’s KOMO 1000 on the AM radio in Sacramento. I just couldn’t pick up any stations in Sacramento.

Maybe the local radio signals were blocked because of Gov. Swarzenegger’s surgery.

Number two thing I learned is that Christmas Night in Lost Hills, California offers two choices of mangers — Motel 6 and Super 8.

Christmas cuisine selections included Carl’s Jr., Burger King, MacDonald’s, and Wendy’s.

I opted for Wendy’s since it’s the only one of the four where I have never had food poisoning.

I can’t believe Dave’s heirs did not offer cranberry sauce with my No. 2 combo given the holiday spirit I observed. Sort of a Feliz Navidad all the way around.

Why did I not make it to Vegas by Christmas night?

Can you say traffic?

Lesson learned, number three. In California, there are enough drivers nowadays to pack any freeway, any sideway, any which way, any day or night.

It really got thick around Boron. Must have been the extra traffic exiting the 20-Mule Team Museum.

And the closer you get to Vegas, the faster the drivers are going.

Which is why the speed limit drops from 70 to 55 so all these excited gamblers can pay double fines for speeding in construction zones.

I notice Nevada does not refer to them as “work zones” as they do in Oregon.

Makes sense, since no one was working when I drove through Primm but the operator of the roller coaster at the Buffalo Bill Casino.

I’ll try their cheeseburgers on the way home, and the Mad Greek’s gyros in Baker. Their sign says they serve the best gyros in the USA.

They obviously have not tasted Tommy’s every Friday afternoon in front of Casey’s!

There is so much more to share.

Like the truck from Fresno with “OK Produce” stenciled on the sides.

Or the sign for Sincityskydiving.

Or the fog in Bakersfield.

Like Sir Winston Churchill said, “It is always wise to look ahead, but difficult to look farther than you can see.”

Which reminds me of all the carrot trucks I have driven by.

It’s going to be a great year for carrots.

And for you too.

I guarantee it.