There is a deep sense of non-emergency urgency as I attempt to get my next thought on paper before it escapes.

All is well.

The thought is here. If hot air rises, why does hot liquid sink?

As I write this column from high-atop my new-old WAIF Thrift Store swivel rattan bar stool, purchased earlier today in their Freeland parking lot, I sip ceremoniously the two-tiered, warm-hot Campbell’s Chunky Sirloin Steak Soup with unidentifiable vegetables, nestled in a thick, industrial-strength beef broth.

I sip ceremoniously with some luke-warm degree of confusion.

Having microwave-bowl heated this modified food starch infested liquid three minutes more than the suggested directions, I am wondering if NFL star Donovan McNabb’s mother really does serve this non-hot disappointment to her multi-millionaire son.

Maybe Mom McNabb serves this dull-a-cacy to her family, but right before her smiling son, NFL star quarterback passes the contents of the bowl to a wide receiver known as The Wastebasket, a close friend of The Refrigerator, William Perry, who used to hawk Hungry Man dinners before his cholesterol levels reached maximum pro-portions.

ESPN (The Entertainment and Sports Network) indicates on its Website that McNabb’s wastebasket catches anything and everything he tosses.

I know and love a Brush Prairie golden retriever named Sophie that can catch any foreign object served in her jurisdirection, particularly tennis balls.

No, you will not find that last five-syllable creation in Spellcheck, but Sophie will find her ball, no matter where I throw it in the woods.

Speaking of finds, I located hair stylist Annalee’s new bright and cheery hair styling sanctuary quite easily today for my last haircut before the new ferry schedule goes into effect June 11.

I try to get my hair cut right after a full moon but before the next postage increase. I read recently that hair grows more slowly, but looks a bit fuller, if it is cut during this period of astrological delight.

Annalee’s new shop in Clinton is across the parking lot from the professional offices of Dr. Brad Weeks, mind-helper extraordinaire and Dr. Robert Perkins, mouth-mechanic extraordinaire.

No word yet on whether Dr. Brad, the psychiatrist and Dr. Robert, the dentist will join with Annalee to offer a neighborhood monthly special called The Clean, Shrink and Cut, a progressive party for healthy teeth, healthy minds and healthy hair.

For years, Annalee’s barber and beauty shop was located directly across from the fairgrounds. George Henny of Whidbey Telephone has purchased this classic Ernie Noble landmark red building. George will relocate Ernie’s one-story relic as a phone museum.

Should I donate my friend Tom Kennedy’s 1974 aqua colored Bell rotary phone, hand carried from Vermont many years ago? I have since glued a Hoyt Wilhelm-Baltimore Orioles collectible photo button on the center of the phone so that Hoyt rotates like a spinning knuckleball every time I dial.

Speaking of spinning, while I was opening the Freeland post office lobby door today for a heavily packaged lady, she spun around toward me to kindly remark, “I sure do enjoy reading your columns.”

Stunned, I was unsure of an appropriate response, so I queried, “Thanks, I have to write another one today. Do you have anything that you would like to promote?”

“Yes, people picking up their doggie-do.”

Well now, there’s a crowd-pleaser.

Maybe I’ll hold on to her journalistic suggestion until the end is in sight, although it is a not-so-subtle reminder to promote tonight’s annual Spring Fling, WAIF’s auction dinner fundraiser, held again this year at the majestic Greenbank Farm.

WAIF, Whidbey Island’s Animal Improvement Foundation, feeds, houses, subsidizes, vaccinates and loves the multitude of homeless and unwanted animals under its care. WAIF’s loyal following of animals and animal lovers continues to amaze me.

Thanks to WAIF board member Gary Smith of Mukilteo Coffee for bringing The Lost Vuarnets back to rock the barn with some classic dance hits about

8 p.m., right after Sue Frause and I help squeeze the living pockets out of the attendees.

At 6 p.m., Chef Tim Goeken will again serve his classic creations, sharing his mouth-watering culinary delights for all. You might even have some success garnering Tim’s donation of his gourmet dinner for you and 10 guests at your house or the lovely residence of Jan Bell and Ted Shanley.

Thanks to WAIF President Kit Maret, vice president and Spring Fling chairwoman Pamela Z. Hill-Keeva, marketing guru Leslie Kelly, secretary Vicki Payne, treasurer Robin Doucette and WAIF executive director Lesley Mills Macindoe who have all worked throughout the year to enhance the lives of the more than 1500 dogs and cats affiliated with the WAIF Shelters in Coupeville and Oak Harbor.

For further info on this lively and fun group of volunteers, check out their Website at www.waifanimals.org.

Remember, thanks to WAIF, even a small donation of $25 will feed an animal for one month. With gas and ferry fees today, $25 will not cover a quick trip to Lynnwood to take your dog or cat to PetCo and back.

Another great local organization, the South Whidbey Lions Club, will hold their annual garage sale at the Island County Fairgrounds on Friday, June 9 and Saturday, June 10. If you have donations, call 331-3151 for pick-up by June 3.

Keep in mind, however, that the local Lions will not pick-up what the Freeland post office lady has suggested as a future column.

However, you can call a friend of mine in Denver, Poop Van Scoop. Poop’s calling card suggests, just like Brown Bear Septic, that he is “number one in the number two business, picking up where your dog left off, specializing in close encounters of the turd kind.”

Good night, Gracie. All our readers are probably gone by now.

Yet, for you loyalists that may remain, we close with today’s words from Drew Kampion. I overheard Drew just now cautioning his youthful bride Susan to pick up the tempo for their journey to Double Bluff beach for a romantic walk.

“Hurry on, Susan, the tide waits for no one.”

In my next life, I might want to consider coming back as a tide.

I would always be on time, and like Drew says, I would wait for no one. Just like the Washington State ferries!